Drunk  in road.  This video is so incredibly pathetic.  For one thing, it seems almost impossible that this guy survived in the first place.  I’ve been that drunk!  Passed out at an island bar in the middle of the pool at a hotel in Ixtapa, Mexico.  The guy next to me grabbed my by the hair and pulled me up to safety.  I woke up with a horrible sun burn and hang-over to match.  Like I said, “Pathetic.”

Let’s look at the alcoholic’s children. Can we say for certain that the behavior of these kids is the result of having an alcoholic father? According to Jorge Valles, M.D., the general tendency is to say yes. If a boy misbehaves in school and it’s discovered that his father is an alcoholic, everyone feels a measure of satisfaction that they have found the cause of the boy’s difficulties. It isn’t always that way though. Often, children of alcoholics do well in school and don’t necessarily experience problems resulting from the alcoholic.

Probably all of us have heard or voiced, “What do you expect from a boy whose father is a drunk?” Dr. Valles says the curious thing about it is that this pattern of thinking is not confined to the relatives and friends of the family, but is shared by the alcoholic himself.

It is this notion that made me want to blog this area of concern. I felt very guilty for my pile of wreckage, I knew was my fault. I was such a loser, how could things have been different. Of course it’s my fault. Well, it isn’t necessarily so.

I don’t have one alcoholic friend that doesn’t take responsibility for most of the troubles and problems that occurred in his family when he was drinking. Often, we are responsible. What’s important in recovery is to get to your inventory. The DREADED 4th Step – Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Getting to the truth about yourself is important. Important to you and your family and long term recovery.

See your sponsor, or your nearby, friendly Texaco Dealer.

As a recovering drunk, I want to show just how ugly being drunk can be. Very few things will stop the alcoholic from drinking.  Sobriety comes after an epiphany, or spiritual moment of the highest order, and/or we finally get sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Most of us said, “Well, if I ever get that bad, I’ll quit drinking.” Then as we sank deeper into our behavior, we set new highs for our lows.  Before you know it, there is no low that’s too low.

Some of the “Hoot’s Drunk of the Day” are funny, some are not; almost all of them are pathetic.  Our first “Hoot’s Drunk of the Day” is a classic from the early ’90’s.  It’s a video showing a young drunk man, getting his butt kicked by a very large, strong woman. Rated V for violent.

Look around my site, there is a better way.

“Hoot”

Where do we get these lame expressions that are plastered all over the walls at AA meetings..?

After all the years I’ve been working on changing the way I behave in a sober world, I’m still amazed at how often I awkwardly manage my life. The Main Ingredient, with Cuba Gooding Jr.’s father as lead singer, sang it: “Everybody Plays the Fool, sometime.” When I played that song on the radio, my comment was, “Yeah, but I just wish my turn wouldn’t come up so often.”

Even though I laugh about it, it’s an ongoing feature of my personality. Now I come from a long line of drunken odd balls so you’d think I’d have a leg up on strange behavior, but I don’t. Sometimes I have to ask my wife, what it was I did or said that made the situation worse. Regularly it’s the expression on my face that trumps what’s coming out of my mouth. Inside, I’m not really all that upset. Which leads me to believe I don’t communicate as well as I should. It’s time to Think, Think, Think..!

I began drinking when I was a boy, so my brain didn’t mature like most humans’. It’s not an excuse as much as it is a caution sign for me to watch-it when I’m entering the intersection of Pissed and Justifiable Anger. There ain’t no such thing for an alcoholic and it’s here that I need to take a deep breath and remember Easy Does It. So now you have examples of our sayings at AA. and how they work in my life.

Beginning tomorrow, I’ll introduce a new feature on the Mynameishoot.com site. “Hoot’s Drunk of the Day.” Short clips of drunken behavior that will hopefully bring more alcoholics to sobriety. Let me know what you think. Also, Chapter 2 of my audio book will be available for free on the front page of the site as well.

It’s nice to be able to address you in that manner knowing that if anyone else said that to you, you might knock their head off. To me, it means we’ve been to hell and back. We’ve wallowed in the depths of dispair and even considered killing ourselves. But, with sobriety came our opportunity to right the wrongs of our alcoholic past.

The wreckage of my past is strewn all along the highway of my life. Three wives, a family that gave up on me and lost friends, too many to count. So today, let’s turn our attention to the Codependent.

If you have someone in your family whose drinking is adversely affecting your life, take this short quiz. I’ll give you some direction in a minute.

Millions of people are affected by the excessive drinking of someone close. The following questions, from Al-Anon Family Groups, are designed to help you decide whether or not you need Al-Anon.
Are You Troubled by Someone Else’s Drinking? Codependency?

Quiz:

1. Do you worry about how much someone drinks? Yes___ No___
2. Do you have money problems as a result of someone else’s drinking? Yes___NO___
3. Do you tell lies to cover up for someone else’s drinking? Yes___No___
4. Do you feel that if the drinker cared about you, he or she would stop drinking to please you?
Yes___No___
5. Do you blame the drinker’s behavior on his or her companions? Yes___No___
6. Are plans frequently upset or canceled or meals delayed because of the drinker? Yes___No___
7. Do you make threats, such as, If you don’t stop drinking, I’ll leave you? Yes___No___
8. Do you secretly try to smell the drinker’s breath? Yes___No___
9. Are you afraid to upset someone for fear it will set off a drinking bout? Yes___No___
10. Have you been hurt or embarrassed by a drinker’s behavior? Yes___No___
11. Are holidays and gatherings spoiled because of drinking? Yes___No___
12. Have you considered calling the police for help in fear of abuse? Yes___No___
13. Do you search for hidden alcohol? Yes___No___
14. Do you ever ride in a car with a driver who has been drinking? Yes___No___
15. Have you refused social invitations out of fear or anxiety? Yes___No___
16. Do you feel like a failure because you can’t control the drinking? Yes___No___
17. Do you think that if the drinker stopped drinking, your other problems would be solved?
Yes___No___
18. Do you ever threaten to hurt yourself to scare the drinker? Yes___No___
19. Do you feel angry, confused, or depressed most of the time? Yes___No___
20. Do you feel there is no one who understands your problems? Yes___No__

According to Al-Anon Family Groups, the developers of this quiz, if you have answered yes to any of these questions, Al-Anon or Alateen may be able to help. See links in www.mynameishoot.com/resources

God Bless you all. Getting sober doesn’t necessarily mean it will save your marriage, get your family back or be forgiven by your friends, but it’s the beginning of a better life and a new you. I’ve been extremely fortunate to reap the benefits of sobriety.

I want that for you too. I have two books by Melody Beattie called Codependent No More. The Book has sold over 5 Million copies. I’ll include it free with the purchase of the next two copies of Drunk & Disorderly, Again – My name is Hoot, I’m an alcoholic.

I love you all.

In AA, which took me a long time to digest, time means a lot. We all want to be able to say, “Yeah, I’m working on my second year.” Sometimes, doing time is just that – accumulating time. What’s important is HOW you do your time.

For me, waking up, having a chat with God, reading from my 24 Hour book and setting a goal to be a better man today than I was yesterday, implementing the steps and values I’ve learned in my sobriety, makes it all work for me. Then, staying in constant contact with my HP, whom I do call God, throughout the day, really keeps me centered.

If you’re anticipating you’re fourth step soon, write down a few things you know will have to be dealt with. Take a little time to get a head start so you won’t be overwhelmed when you begin your “Fearless. Moral Inventory.”

Sobriety works, but you have to work it. A person who takes time to study the Big Book, talk to their sponsor and complete a few daily goals that are program related, builds a fortress against the compulsion when it rears its’ ugly head, and you can be sure it will.

When we first get sober we’re like a fresh young sapling planted in the ground. We’re standing okay, but we don’t have a lot of roots to give us strength against the up-coming winds. Meetings, sharing, studying the Big Book and the steps of the program are our roots to steady us when the big wind blows.

I love you guys,

Hoot

The study found that older adults are more likely to engage in high-risk drinking, which is defined as more than three drinks per day or more than fourteen per week. Good grief, I used to down 14 drinks in one sitting on a regular basis. I spilled more than three drinks a day! I’m not bragging, I’m just sayin’…. Thank God I’m sober, not dead.

Our friend Buddy T. at about.com/alcohol, speaks of finding certain factors that influence seniors drinking habits. Having financial freedom was one factor.

The study also found that men may be more susceptible to social factors than women, when it comes to heavy drinking. Having more money and friends who drink were more closely linked to men than women who were older heavy drinkers.

Tonight on KSAV.org, I’ll be featuring the song-writing skills of an American Songstress. Laura Nigro. Do you know who she is? Her first song was “Up on the Roof,” by the Drifters which she wrote when she was just thirteen. I’ll reveal the name she made famous and play a bunch of the songs she wrote, but made big hits by other artists over the years on “Rear View,” my show on KSAV.org tonight at7 PM Eastern and Pacific.

Thanks,

Hoot

It was on Ohio Street in Santa Monica, California and was downright scary. As I pulled up to the clubhouse, I was thrown off by the amount of people hanging around outside before the meeting, laughing and looking very happy. No panhandling or guys with slobber in their beards. No red eyes looking like a roadmap of Puerto Rico.

I didn’t know what to expect, but whatever notion I had preconceived, included a few winos, sitting on the ground, backs against the building, drinking out of a paper bags, and babbling on incoherently. No, the people I saw were folks just like me, except they were sober.

That first impression and the genuinely warm reception, with the exception of a few Hardliners telling me to, “Take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth,” is what made me keep coming back. I felt hope for the first time in my entire life. “If they can do it, so can I,” I remember saying to myself.

The Hardliners I mentioned, in my opinion, are destructive to the healing process. They contend that a person needs to be broken down to basics and then brought back up through the recovery process with humility. That includes helping to clean up after meetings, putting away chairs and so on, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just the mean spirited, “Take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth,” phrase is counter-productive and hurts feelings. I almost bolted when some old fart yelled that at me during that first meeting.

Give us a try. It’s suggested you do 90 meetings in 90 days. If at the end of that time you don’t think the AA program is for you, we’ll gladly refund your misery. A lot of the items from AA’rs like me are merely suggestions. Like my sponsor says, “Yeah suggestions. Just like if you’re going to jump out of a plane, it’s suggested you wear a parachute..!”

During that first meeting, raise your hand when they ask if there are any newcomers with less than thirty days of sobriety. Then, sit and listen and observe the people in the room and what they’re saying. There’s a lot to absorb. As the days roll by and you reach your 31st day of sobriety and don’t have to raise your hand anymore, it will blow your mind what you’ve learned and how much better your life has become in that short period of time.

When I finally got serious about recovering, I was attending four meetings a day, with my sponsor, the tough old “Gunny Sgt,” Ernie. I wasn’t counting the meetings, but I knew how wonderful I felt and how hopeful I was about my future.

Meantime, if you need anything that can help you stay sober one more day, check the resources tab on my site mynameishoot.com. If you need anything else, of if you don’t have any money at the moment, let me know and I’ll find a way to get you what you need.

I love you guys. We’re in it together

Hoot

The fact is most teens go through high school without ever using drugs, drinking alcohol or even smoking. Of the more dangerous drugs, over 90% have never tried them.

It’s easy for us fathers and mothers to believe that there’s a dope dealer on every corner, which apparently is not the case.

The idea here then, is to council our kids who say, “Yeah but Dad, everyone is doing it,” to break away from those so called friends and find new ones that aren’t doing drugs; which is the majority.

We all need to pay close attention.

Oh, hey, don’t forget my show on KSAV.org Monday nights at 7:00 O’Clock. Goofy.

Have a great week everyone.

Hooooooooot

Recognizing you’re an alcoholic doesn’t necessarily mean you’re on the road to sobriety. For many of us, like me, it took years of living in and dishing out misery.

So I’ve decided to give you an opportunity to hear firsthand what happened on the day I finally came to grips and found sobriety. On the front page of my website www.mynameishoot.com click on the opening chapter of Drunk & Disorderly, Again – My name is Hoot, I’m an alcoholic. It’s a FREE three minute audio of me reading Chapter One.

Alcoholism is not a matter of character. Quitting is not a matter of willpower. Alcoholism is a disease, proclaimed by almost every medical association you choose to ask. So don’t get down on yourself. BUT, once you know you have a problem, if you don’t do something about it, it’s on you..!

Remember, my book or audio book is available through my website www.mynameishoot.com and if you can’t afford it right now, I’ll send to you for free. What’s important is you begin the healing process.

I love you guys… I mean that. We’ve been to hell and back, so we can’t give up at this point. Just a few more steps and life will get better. A lot better.

Don’t forget to tune in my radio show on Monday nights at 7:PM. wwwKSAV.org and then click “Listen Live.”

Your Bud, Hoot